Through Thick and Thin – Gaining and Losing Weight as a Couple

Valentine’s Day 2026 feels different this year.

Not because of flowers, chocolates, or grand gestures—but because it quietly asks a harder question: Are we still choosing each other?

A relationship, most especially a marriage doesn’t usually fall apart in one dramatic moment.

More often, like the human body, it stretches, gains weight, loses shape, grows tired, and slowly drifts.

Somewhere between work, stress, parenting, unmet expectations, and unspoken resentment, couples stop moving together—physically and emotionally.

That’s where weight comes in.

Not just body weight, but emotional weight.

So, I’m thinking,since we gained all this weight together which has caused all this grief and strife, shouldn’t losing weight together be a way to repair what’s been slowly breaking apart all these years?

How Couples Grow Distant Over Time

Married couples don’t grow distant because they stop loving each other. They grow distant because life piles on.

Common reasons include:

Anger that never gets resolved
Resentment over unmet expectations
Emotional neglect
Cheating or marital infidelity
Loss of physical intimacy
Simply losing interest in the other person

When communication breaks down, couples stop sharing experiences.

They eat separately.

Sleep separately.

Live separately, even if they’re still living under the same roof.

The spark doesn’t die loudly.

It just fades quietly.

Why Shared Physical Effort Can Reignite a Marriage

There’s something powerful about forcing shared experiences, especially physical ones.

As a manager, I’ve done this several times with team members who couldn’t work together. I basically made moves to get them to work together so that they can resolve their issues while experiencing things together.

In the case of my marriage, I’ve thought long and hard about what we can do to get back on track.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that exercise and losing weight together should be an easy and cost-efficient way to repair what we can repair without having to pay a therapist exorbitant amounts of money.

You see, exercise doesn’t just change bodies—it rewires habits, routines, and emotional patterns.

When couples work on their health together, they:

Spend intentional time together
Build accountability
Share small wins and setbacks
Relearn teamwork
Create a common goal

So, this isn’t really about looking good again.

It’s more about moving forward together again.

Hmmm… we’ll call it the relationship experiment 2026 ver. 1 hehehe

Gaining and Losing Weight as a Couple

My wife and I didn’t start out as big as we are now.

We just grew bigger over the years.

Upon further research, I found out that weight gain often happens during stressful seasons: pregnancy, career pressure, financial struggles, emotional burnout.

Those things happened to us over the course of our relationship before and after marriage!

Weight loss, on the other hand, often begins when someone finally decides, “Enough.”

Doing it together matters.

Benefits of Losing Weight Together

Stronger emotional bonding
Better communication
Increased physical attraction
Improved energy and mood
Renewed sense of partnership

Challenges to Expect

Different fitness levels
Different motivation styles
Frustration and impatience
Old habits resurfacing

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s persistence.

Exercise as a Tool for Repair, Not Punishment

Exercise doesn’t need to be extreme to be effective. What matters most is consistency and shared time.

Basic Exercises That Build Stamina & Endurance

Exercise	Benefits
Walking (30–45 mins)	Builds endurance, lowers stress
Bodyweight squats	Strengthens legs, boosts metabolism
Push-ups (modified if needed)	Improves upper body strength
Planks	Builds core stability
Stretching / mobility work	Reduces injury, improves recovery

Even light exercise improves:

Cardiovascular endurance
Oxygen efficiency
Daily energy levels
Mental clarity

As stamina improves, so does confidence—and confidence spills into intimacy, communication, and patience.

Small Daily Changes Matter More Than Big Promises

This year, I started my own health journey.

Nothing dramatic. No crash diets. No extreme workouts.

I simply stopped eating too much.

I just started making small sustainable changes

Most days, I walk 45 minutes outside very early in the morning, because that’s honestly the only time I have.

It’s quiet.

It was uncomfortable at first.

But it seems to be working.

And this walking isn’t just for my body’s ehalth, it’s also good for clearing my head.

I’ve been far too angr and depressed that I no longer recognize myself. And I have been slowly punishing myself through food.

I also made another uncomfortable decision: I’m going to overcome my stage fright and start taking videos of myself singing cover songs for my band’s TikTok and Instagram. I’ve avoided that for years. Fear has a way of shrinking your world if you let it.

On top of that, I’ve resolved to:

Add consistent content to all the websites I own
Start making YouTube videos again
Show up even when I don’t feel confident

Growth rarely feels comfortable—but neither does stagnation.

Intimacy as We Age: Why It Matters More, Not Less

As we get older, intimacy becomes less spontaneous and more intentional.

Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about:

Touch
Presence
Eye contact
Feeling desired
Feeling chosen

Exercise helps because:

It improves blood circulation
It increases confidence
It boosts energy levels
It reduces stress and anxiety

But more importantly, shared effort rebuilds emotional safety—and intimacy grows best where safety exists.

When a Marriage Is Failing, Doing Nothing Is a Choice

Here’s the hard part.

My marriage has been failing for the past 6 years.

It doesn’t matter anymore whose fault it is.

I’ve finally made up my mind and I’m taking a stand.

I’m not going to quietly let that happen.

I’m choosing to take proactive steps to get it back on track. That means:

Swallowing my pride
Trying every single day to be a better husband
Turning a blind eye to things I don’t like
Choosing peace over ego

Not because it’s easy—but because there’s a family involved.

A child.

A future that still deserves a chance.

Sometimes love isn’t about being right.

It’s about being present.

Relearning Communication Through Shared Action

Talking doesn’t always fix things. Sometimes doing things together opens the door for communication to return naturally.

So far, we’ve reestablished ways to communicate.

No shouting.

Less accusation.

More listening?

So far, so good.

This Valentine’s Day isn’t about gifts.

It’s about choosing:

Health over comfort
Effort over avoidance
Partnership over pride

Losing weight together won’t magically fix a marriage.

But it creates momentum.

And momentum is often what struggling relationships lack.

Through thick and thin—literally and figuratively—marriage is a decision made daily.

And today, I’m going to choose my marriage.

Happy 6^th Year Wedding Anniversary!